Friday, June 28, 2013

postpartum confinement

Although my family has been living in the United States for over thirty years, there are some age old traditions that are still observed. Postpartum confinement is one of them.

"In Chinese culture, the moon month, also translated as “sitting out the month,” “lying in” or “confinement in childbirth,” is a month-long sojourn in the home for postpartum women. It means that following childbirth, the mother and child are to remain indoors, mostly horizontal on the bed, well insulated and fully catered to by extended family. All cooking and cleaning is provided while the new mother’s exclusive job is to bond with the infant, breastfeed and recover from the trauma of childbirth.

Part of this tradition requires that women not bathe during the moon month... This is due to the fear of illness or disease, especially back in the days when there was fear regarding water-borne pathogens..."

My mother claims there is evidence that if a woman does not honor the full moon month, she will be more susceptible to disease and illness later in life. When I question my mother about the scientific evidence behind this tradition she questions me back by stating “How can you argue with five thousand years of history?... Why would you put yourself at risk now that a child will depend on you? 

My parents were scheduled to arrive the day before O's due date. Because he arrived a week early, A and I were able to enjoy some alone time with O before their arrival.

I didn't want to be confined to bed or go a month without showering or washing my hair, so I took a few walks with O around our neighborhood and washed up before my parent's arrival. Immediately after their arrival, I was confined to my house. If my mother had the power to make me stay in bed, she would have. Ever other sentence out of my mother's mouth was the rules regarding what I was NOT allowed to do, eat, or drink during the moon month. After a day, I need some respite from my parents already.

Don't get my wrong, it's nice that my parents are here to help out but at the same time it's hard living under the same roof as them again, even if it's just for a month. The benefits of having my parents here is that there is always, and I mean always, food available. My mother also watches O when A is not here and I need a small break. 

The downside to my parents being here is that they, mostly my mother, does not have a sense of what privacy means to a married couple. Any time she hears O cry, she'll burst right into our bedroom. No warning. No knocking. Even if our door is closed. Another downside is that my mother has turned my clean and organized kitchen to resemble her kitchen at home. There are Chinese herbs and spices piled on my counter tops. My refrigerator has a pungent smell to it and the smell of Chinese food is leaking through my air vents. I could go on about all the things I'm not allowed to do according to this ancient tradition but I won't.

I know I complain a lot but the truth is that I'm grateful my mother is here to help us. I just wish I understood the rationale behind these traditions more. Thankfully it's the 28th already... I only have 13 more days of confinement and I'll be a free woman again.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

mister oliver

we're pleased to introduce to everyone mister oliver s. shih


he surprised us yesterday morning at exactly 39 weeks gestation. he's a little guy but came out with a big scream. so far he's been a champion sleeper. he loves sucking on his hands and is a stinky farter. he's got mama's eyes and rosy lips but daddy's face. we are over joyed and also over tired. we can't wait to bring him home tonight! 

Monday, June 10, 2013

nesting

A is in nesting mode. I think it's finally hit A that baby O will be here in no time! it's all still so surreal to us though. we've always only been responsible for ourselves, then each other, and now... we'll be responsible for a whole new little human being. 


we're still trying to get the house together, room by room. first A worked on the garage. it was a three day project but he expoxy'ed the garage floor and organized our storage items so we have a functioning garage, a garage where we can actually park a car if we wanted to! next up, he finally hung the mirror in our half bathroom, which he's now calling the "bird room" because i decided to decorate it with bird prints. next he worked hard on painting an accent wall in our master bath. and finally he tackled the odd shaped closet (picture above) in our guest room. it's long and narrow and has a window. he cut the corners and painted it. today he'll put up custom shelving, rods and hooks. again, we're all about functionality, something this closet totally lacks simply due to it's location and narrowness. hope it turns out nice.

i've nested and i'm tired. since completing baby O's room, i've attempted to make the house more "user friendly" for A. he's never had to worry about hand wash or laundry detergent, so i stocked up on those items. i also tried to set up an easy billing payment system so we won't get bogged down with these everyday life things. i finally relinquished my california residency for a south carolina one and officially changed my name on my driver's license. it was a sad day but it had to be done.

as far as baby O, we had our weekly glimpse of him at our ultrasound last friday. he's still a little peanut weighing in at about 5 pounds 12 ounces. it's likely that due to his size, we'll be expecting him this week. our ob office is worried that his growth may be due to him not receiving enough nutrients. so if i don't go into spontaneous labor by tuesday morning this week, we get to choose his birth date. yikes...

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

watermelon

baby O loves watermelon and i've been eating plenty of it. i can eat a quarter of a watermelon at a time. whenever i eat it baby O rolls his little foot around in my belly. he's considered "full term" now as i'm over the 37 week mark. in fact, i'm 38 weeks and 1 day now. there's been no sign of O coming before his due day yet. for the last two weeks i've been monitored twice a week to make sure O is not in any kind of stress and is receiving enough oxygen and blood. i was also monitored to see if i was contracting at all. at 37 weeks, i had zero contractions. yesterday at 38 weeks, i had small contractions about once every five minutes. they were so small that i had no idea they were happening at all!

A and I have been plenty busy around the house recently. the interior is finally painted. i am slowly decorating each room and trying to come up with themes. O's nursery has a fish theme. the half bathroom downstairs has a bird theme. A's office has a very many theme. we haven't quite decided on it yet but so far we have our cow hide rug, deer antlers, rabbit skins, and a couple of vintage furniture pieces in there. i feminized it by putting a couple of hydrangeas in there though. we're not sure what to do with our bedroom but have decided to keep it open and simple, no dressers in the room. just our bed and bed frame. we'll be quite minimalistic with the walls as well. we'll see how long that lasts...


in addition to trying to get the house together before baby O's arrival, we've been trying to adapt to this new weather system we have here. the weather has been very tropical, to say the least. there's no shortage of rain, as it comes when it pleases. with the rain comes thunder and lightening as well. but once it stops raining, it's quite humid. it's sure a change from the dry san diego weather we've been so use to.